WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In a welcome piece of good news for the embattled vice-presidential nominee, a new poll released on Thursday shows that a hundred percent of likely Democratic voters favor JD Vance remaining on the GOP ticket.

Vance’s strong showing with Democratic voters stands in sharp contrast with his performance among Republicans, only 17 percent of whom support his continuing as nominee.

Among those Democrats surveyed, a hundred percent agreed with the statement “JD Vance should receive more airtime” while a hundred percent concurred with the statement “Just let JD be JD.”

On the campaign trail, presumptive Democratic presidential nominee Kamala Harris echoed her party’s passionate support for Vance.

“JD Vance has shown himself to be a very giving person,” she said, “and I want him to keep on giving.”